It’s (NOT) such a hard-knock life…

     You know the words, or at least have heard them at one point in life. In fact, you are probably singing the song in your head right now. However, I want to challenge us by using this song as the foundation. For some reason, the song It’s A Hard-Knock Life from Annie came to mind this morning (probably because someone at the house was watching it recently). I started thinking about the words and what the orphans say during that song.
It’s a hard-knock life for us…

Empty belly life. Rotten, smelly life…

Instead of treated, we get tricked…

Full of sorrow life. No tomorrow life…

I know those are only some isolated lines from the song, but there is something in there I want us to see. Granted, I do not want to minimalize the real-life struggles of those in poverty or those who have been orphaned or are in foster homes. Those pains are real. I started to think about these words and how we, as Christians, often approach life. We adopt an “orphan” mentality and start ‘singing’ these words over our lives. When in fact, a glorious SYMPHONY has been sung over us and is still being sung over us each day. We just focus too much on what we do not have, instead of what we do have. I for one am as guilty as anyone of this.

This “orphan” mentality is especially destructive to our walks because it makes us forget who we are and Whose we are. Church the past few weeks has been speaking heavily into our TRUE identity and living in the Hope that is found in Jesus. This goes hand-in-hand with this “orphan” mentality because that is NOT who we really are. Like the orphans in the song, we often find ourselves focused on our circumstances and filling our prayer with our “have nots”. We continue to live in our absences (“oh, I’m single.” “oh, I don’t have my own place”, etc…) and not His provisions. Admittedly, one thing I do struggle with.

The kicker here is that our “orphan” mentality is wrong. We are actually ADOPTED children of God and HEIRS with Christ. We are NOT alone, we are NOT orphaned. Yes, it gets really dark and hopeless at times. It is in those moments where He is right there with you; often extending His hand to yours to walk with Him through the “fog”. We get caught in this “fog of war” that satan clouds our senses with so that we do not see the battlefield for what it actually is. The “fog” surrounds us and clouds our senses; even makes us feel isolated from the Father. We cannot see Him in the fog. When in fact, the battle is already over and He is standing there victorious. The fog clears and we see the carnage of the battle and the corpses of our enemies strewn before Him. We walk in victory, not defeat, as CHERISHED members of His family. The battle is already over, He has won. The enemy just refuses to accept it. Again, I know this is easier said than done; but we need to adopt this mentality and not that of orphans. Let’s start walking this life together.  It is NOT such a hard-knock life after all when we walk in who we really are!

(Eph 1:5)

Ouch, that burns!

           I painted this picture about seven years ago.  I was feeling rather inspired in Art class to draw off of the theme of being ‘refined by fire’.  It was just a side project that I didn’t think much of at the time.  However, I was recently reminded of that painting and was inspired to write about its meaning.  That is what this blog post is all about dear reader!  Sometimes, we all need time in the fire.  I would not have said that a year ago, but as I stand here today I am surer now than ever!  Now that I have some hindsight looking back, I am thoroughly astonished.  Before we get there, let me take you on a little journey…

            Last year was, unequivocally, the toughest year of my life up to this point.  The only way I can really describe it is as follows: challenging, difficult, rewarding, stretching, sorrowful, joyous, sustained by grace, impactful, trusting, teetering, shaping, refining (there’s that word again), tear-stained, fun, gut-wrenching, overcoming, and God-filled.

For those of you who walked through it with me, you knew how hard it really was.  Many of you don’t know the extent, and I would like to shed a little light on that.  Last year was full of a lot of negativity for me, whether through my internal struggles with that “disease” or external forces.  I will not go into great detail about my entire situation, because I do not want to dwell on those things.  Plus, I do not want this to be about me and my travails.  I want this to be all about God!

            My year started off great by attending my first Passion Conference.  That conference blew me away and really planted the seeds for great things and truths that God had for me.  However, the enemy (he doesn’t deserve correct grammar), sought to rip all that away from me.  In the weeks that followed, I suffered heartbreak, crushing defeats, life-long dreams dying, and loss all within short spurts of each other.  There was a particular thing that I was trusting in God (more than anything) to provide for me, which ended up completely collapsing around me.  Within that same time, I had two grandparents go to be with Jesus.  I was completely crushed by everything and desperately tried to hold it all together by my own strength/fortitude (bad idea).  There were times I turned to God for help to make sense of it all, and I was praying fervently at times.  However, my prayers felt hollow.  Unfortunately, I really began to be hardened and severely doubt key facets of my faith for the first time.  I began to blame God for my circumstances.  I spiraled completely out of control in the context of my general well-being and spiritual state.  Praise God, I didn’t fall to any addictions or substances, but I did hit rock bottom.  I was in a perpetual state of negativity!

            The walls kept closing in around me!  New disappointments would hit or the same situations would get even worse than they had been.  I did not know what to do.  There were brief times of relief, refreshment, and restoration of my faith, but those did not seem to last very long.  Oh, but they were sweet times!  God did so much for me in those times that it was incredible.  The times of worship, study and reflection with my Bible Study group were key battlegrounds during my struggles.  Needless to say, this was the first time ever I was really battling God.  I was a stubborn jerk for a lot of last year.  God was trying to get me to let go of those hopes and dreams that I had, and give them to Him.  There were things in my life that were unyielded and He needed me to give those up to Him.  However, I was not cooperative and kept spiraling. 

            He did not give up on me though!  Praise God that He did not give up on me!  Even though there were times I wanted to give up on Him.  I can now say that I have come through this past year and overcame my battle and struggle.  I relented and yielded the things to Him that He wanted.  What a release that was when that time finally came!  By no means do I have it all figured out, but I know without a doubt He has me right where He wants me!  …And that is where our story really begins.

            Up until recently, I only saw last year as a negative, miserable thing.  However, my perspective was soon changed when I finally realized what it was all about.  It was my year of learning surrender and being REFINED BY FIRE!  This thought completely captivated me!  Little did I know it, but that painting from years ago was going to truly be my story.  Yes, last year was full of negativity, but God had plans through it all.  My family and friends kept encouraging me in it, but I was too stubborn at times to hear.  Now I see, and I thank them for their unrelenting confidence in God’s sovereignty and faithfulness.

            I was the gold (canvas) that God was fashioning last year!  Most of the time, when gold is refined it goes through several steps: heating, scraping of the impurities, pounding/molding, and cooling/tempering.  I can see the process in my life through all I experienced last year.  God was using all the junk in a way I couldn’t imagine.  Now, use your imagination as we put ourselves in this situation:

 

Heating:  God is stoking us in the fire and preparing us for the process.  It is during this that impurities are revealed.

Ow, that burns!  Why does it have to hurt so much God?  Why are you doing this?  Is there some other way?  Ouch!

 

Scraping: The impurities have bubbled up to the surface, and they have to be removed (circumcised).  We can’t progress unless He removes them!  The pain increases because these impurities came from the roots and the pain is sharp.  We have to surrender!

Ah! No, stop.  That is excruciating, I can’t stand it.  Please don’t take that away from me!  Is there another way?!  Why does it have to hurt so much?

(The gold is put back into the fire and subsequently scraped as many times as needed before the process can continue.  Often in our lives, these are times where there are things rooted in us that require additional fire and scraping.  Those are usually the most painful.

 

Pounding/Molding:  This part involves a lot of pain too.  This is where He is getting us into the right shape that He wants us in.  In no way is it easy!  This process often takes time. (Sometimes it’s pouring into a mold, other times it is through hammering.)

WHAM!  Ouch.  One step closer to finished product…

WHAM!  Oh…  Tear soaked agony and pain!

WHAM!  What is all this pain really for?  Is it truly necessary?

WHAM!  Is this what You felt with the nails?

WHAM! …

 

Tempering/Cooling:  This is where the gold takes its final shape and hardens.  This is the time of refreshment for the gold.  For a brief time, the pain of the fire and refining process is stopped so it can all soak in.  Think of this as the times that we are refreshed and                                                     cooled in God’s presence.  This is where we drink in big draughts of Him and understand more about what it is He has for us.  He designed the process with this time in mind.  Otherwise, we would not make it through the process.   We need His refreshment to draw strength from Him and his cooling, still waters.  (This can be through worship, quiet time, a word at church, etc…)

Ah…(enormous sigh of relief)

OH, REST IN ME FOR AWHILE MY CHILD.  WE NEED THIS TIME TOGETHER.  YOU KNOW I HAVE YOU THROUGH THIS RIGHT?  I HAVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME.  HOLD MY HAND IF YOU NEED.  REMEMBER, I AM HAS YOU/IS WITH YOU/WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.  I AM SINGING OVER YOU!  DRAW IN WITH ME… I LOVE YOU!

 

            To think, this is only the beginning for many of us friends!  I know it is only the beginning for me.  There is still a whole lot more of this journey to go, and a lot I don’t even have a clue about yet.  There may be times where we have to go through the whole process repeatedly, much like I did, but just know that God has you through it.  I implore you to just trust God and let Him have His way!  The refining process hurts, but the rewards on the other side are worth every ounce of pain!  I hope that you have found this encouraging and enlightening.  I pray that God may use this and continue to move in our lives in a big way!  Thanks for reading.

 

[Phil. 3:13, 1 Cor. 13:12, 2 Cor. 4:16-18, Prov. 3:5-6, 1 Peter 5:6, James 4:7-10 2 Tim. 2:13, 2 Peter 1:5-8, Gal. 6:9, Rom. 8:26-27 (MSG version used for most verses, but I encourage reading in several translations)]